It's my decision!

Alright so yesterday was supposed to be the day we took Livvy in for her MRI. On Monday we went in to see the Dr. and he said she no longer needed casts YAY!!! But he kept pushing the issue of her needing to have an MRI, "I don't think there is anything wrong but I just want to check". That just didn't sit well with me. When we returned home from Anchorage the PICU nurse had called and wanted me to return her call to talk about the MRI the next day. When I called her back we were talking and she asked it Livvy had any medical problems, I explained that she has reflux and tracheomalacia her response "Oh thats good to know, thanks for letting me know that" I know that anytime you are put under you run the risk of stopping breathing so I asked "does this mean she is at a higher risk for stopping breathing" her response"...yes" I started crying, I had been fighting back tears since I first started talking to her, I was so scared to begin with and now this!? She continued on with the risks and what they would do if anything did happen to her. She reminded me that Providence is the best childrens hospital in Alaska and she would be worked on by the best Dr.s in Alaska. Then she asked why she was having an MRI, I am sure in her mind it was something very important but when I told her "because her feet are turning in, the Dr. has said he doesn't think there is anything wrong but he just wants to check" she got quiet, I am sure she was thinking the same thing I was, why put a 5 month old through this when you have no reason to really suspect anything is even wrong? She went on about how the procedure would work and I continued to cry. I asked if they had to do the sedation, if they could just let her sleep through it, she said no it was too noisy and she wouldn't sleep. Then she said something that caught my attention, something I had never thought about..."You are the mom Stephanie, you have everyright to say I don't want to do this." I thought , I am her mom! I should have some say in what happens to my daughter! She told me that even if they are just about to put her IV in I can say no and leave, no questions asked! Once we hung up I talked it over with Kevin, he said I needed to call the Dr. and let him know my concerns. Of course he said we needed to have this done and she would be fine and there is a 1 in 400,000 chance that something could happen. 1 in 400,000 chance is too much in my book! I told them I would call them after the procedure and let them know how it went. The day continued on like normal, we went to dinner and I kept telling Kevin, I don't feel right about this, I don't want to do this. He kept telling me, she will be fine, quit worrying...I couldn't quit! So that evening I was getting Olivia ready for bed and I kept telling her how tomorrow we were going to go into Anchorage and she was going to have an owie in her arm and then she would fall asleep but when she woke up we would be right there (yes I know 5 month olds don't understand but it made me feel better) and I started thinking what if, what if something happend, what if the Dr. was right there really wasn't anything there. I started crying again uncontrolably and was hugging Olivia so tight. Kevin came in and told me she would be fine and I finally said it..."I am not going to do it! I am not taking her in tomorrow" he said "FINE! Then call the hospital and let them know you aren't going to do it!" We talked for quite a while and I told him my worries, why put her and myself through this when there is not really any reason to think there is anything wrong? He started to see where I was coming from and agreed that as parents it is ultimately our decision. That was that, she wouldn't have an MRI. I called Connie to let her know and she told me they didn't agree with the MRI either but didn't want to say anything because again, we are her parents. I called the hospital first thing in the morning, I begged Kevin to call the Dr. and tell them, I was afraid they would be upset with our decision and would make me feel like I am a bad mother. He wouldn't call, he told me to be a big girl and do it, in the nicest way possible. I called and of course they were dissapointed but understood it was my decision. I felt like 30 lbs had been lifted off my shoulders. Kevin and I talked about this Dr. I noticed that the first time we took her in he immediately said MRI and as we were leaving there was another little girl being scheduled for an MRI as well, something didn't seem right! We are under the impression that for every patient he sends over he gets a kick back of some sort. I decided to call another Orthopaedist here in Palmer to see if they do second opinions. When the receptionist asked what was going on I explained to her the whole ordeal and she was shocked! They never send people in for MRIs unless there is a definite reason to do so, not "just to see" and they almost never send babies in because it is so hard on them! I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. How had we been so stupid to have not seen what this guy was doing to us? After I got off the phone with them the original Dr. called they wanted to know the name of the nurse I talked to because she "shouldn't be scaring parents into not doing procedures". That was it! I was furious! The sweet nurse I talked to didn't "scare" me in any way, she was doing her job! She told me the risks involved in putting a baby under or anyone under for that matter! We have made the decision to switch Dr's to the one out here in Palmer. Hopefully they can set everything straight with Livvy. I hope you all can see where we are coming from in this matter. Being a Mom is so hard and having to make decisions like this is even harder!

"Call me when you're done"

Tuesday (the day before my 27th birthday) Kevin gets up early, just like he does on his days off, and comes to get his cell phone and says "I missed a call" so he calls the number back and says "this is Kevin Sager, I missed a call from you"...then he comes in and says "that was AIH my table saw has been recalled, I guess I wasn't the only one who has had problems with it, I had to go up there between 12:30 and 1" I knew that Livvy had a chiropractor appointment at 1:30 but I really didn't care to go to AIH...BORING!! But he asked if I wanted to go and then we could go to Livvy's appointment afterwards, all of us needed a tune up anyway. So we headed into Wasilla and did a few errands before heading to AIH. We were about halfway there when he says "I forgot the paperwork I need for the table saw, we have to go back home" and he turns into a parking lot. I told him he didn't have enough time, it was 12:45 and we were at least 20 mins from home. He said he didn't care, he would drive fast. The he stops at the door of this building which at this point I realize is a day spa and he says "I lied, I don't have to go to AIH, my table saw wasn't recalled you are getting a massage and pedicure for your birthday have fun and call me when you are done" I was shocked, I kept saying "shut up!" he said the only way he could get me there without me asking questions was to say we were going to AIH. What a nice birthday suprise! I got a relaxing 30 minute massage and a wonderful pedicure. It was very nice to get away and relax all by myself! Thank you so much babe! You totally made my day!!

Oh just to add to it, I had to have a wisdom tooth pulled the day before, Kevin had a dentist appointment that day as well so he asked the dentist if I would be OK to get a massage, he said it should be OK but to check with the day spa, so he had to make another trip to the spa the day before...how sweet!!! I love you!!

Livvy's First Easter

April 4th 2010 was Olivia's first Easter, the day before we went to an Easter Egg Hunt at a church down to road from us. She had a lot of fun and was a hit, everyone thought she was so pretty (we think so but it is always nice to hear it from others). The next day she woke up to see what the Easter Bunny had brought her. She got all kinds of goodies! A dog that reads stories, an outfit, several books Alice in Wonderland DVD and lot of other stuff. We went to church and listened to a great sermon, it really got me thinking. It was about letting go and letting God take care of things in our lives. I started thinking about Livvy's feet and how it was really out of our hands and in God's hands. When we were leaving I told Kevin I was thinking about that and he said he was too, CRAZY! That afternoon we went to Grandma and Papa's for Easter dinner and more Easter Bunny gifts. We had a great time, I am so excited for next year when she will be walking around and looking for eggs all by herself :) Happy Easter Baby girl!!

Here we are at the Easter Egg Hunt

I made her dress (with a little help from my Mom) it's called a "pillowcase dress" very easy and very cute on!

Livvy with an Easter Egg, I had to put it in her hand then put it in her basket, I think she had fun, either way she looked darn cute doing it!

Our little Princess :)

All her eggs, we had a lot fun!

All of her goodies from the Easter Bunny

Checking out her books with dad

Another book, this one was a soft stuffed book "Chicken Little" do you think she looks excited about it?

Update on Casts and MRI

Olivia was scheduled to have her MRI on Thursday April 8th at Mat-Su Regional which is just up the road from us. I wanted to have it there because that is where she has had all of her procedures done, where she was born and where I felt the most comfortable. Well, less than a week before her MRI we get a phone call from Mat-Su saying that they don't do sedation on babies under the age of 6 months which meant no MRI at Mat-Su...why didn't they say anything when we first scheduled the appointment?? SO I called the Dr. and let them know that if we had to have it in Anchorage it would have to be a Providence because that is where our Insurance prefers, so we are scheduled for April 20th and I am still scared to death! Providence has an excellent pediatric care unit if anything happens she will be there (please pray nothing happens!) and they also have pediatric anestheologists so they are used to sedating babies, that makes me feel a little better. I will update after we get home on Tuesday on how everything went. I am really hoping they have something they can give her in her bottle or to drink that will make her sleepy instead of an IV :(
Alright now onto the casts. Last Friday we were able to take her casts off because she had an appointment that morning to have her feet looked at. When we removed her right cast we were shocked at how straight her feet were! They looked so good! Her left foot was looking much better too! When we took her in to the Dr. he was suprised by how fast her feet moved back and said she didn't even need a cast on her right leg just to stretch it and keep an eye on it. (remember we were told at least 5 weeks of casting) He casted her right foot and scheduled an appointment that afternoon to be measured for her brace. So far so good! On Monday she goes back in to have her feet looked at again so she gets her left cast off and a good hot bath! I am praying she can keep that cast off and go right to her brace (which is in and ready to be fitted and picked up!) and that she doesn't have to have her right leg casted again. So excited at how fast this is going for her :) Please keep her in your prayers!!

Giveaways

I am doing something I NEVER do! I am blogging about a giveaway. What you have to do is talk about this giveaway on your blog and link to it and your name gets put into the drawing. So here I am blogging about this cool giveaway on Megan's blog She is giving away the coolest thing it is a custom made silver design from Julie the fish I really like the necklace with the name and birthdate. If I win I will have Olivia's name and birthdate put on it. Wish me luck, oh, and if you like, check out Megans blog. She is pregnant with a sweet little boy with some serious heart problems. They (like us) struggled with infertility, and were blessed with baby Cohen and are praying he will be healthy enough to make it through the life saving surgeries needed. Please keep their family in your prayers!

Thanks for checking it out!

First night in her crib

Well, last night was Olivia's first night in her crib. I think she decided for me that she was done being cooped up in her bassinet. She has never had a problem until she had to have her legs casted and she wasn't able to curl up like she likes so, the last few nights she has been kicking her legs up and down and side to side and it has been keeping me up! So, lastnight was it. I made the decision to put her in her big girl crib. I was fine for about the first hour then I went to check on her and I cried. It made me so sad to see my baby in her big girl bed :( She didn't wake up at all, which was very nice and I had her video monitor (yes I am THAT mom!) set up so I could see her when I felt like I needed to. It was nice. I don't think I slept all that well because I remember listening to her while I was sleeping but it will get better over time. I remember sleeping like that when she was first born now I sleep really well. This morning she woke up crying but that was just because she needed her paci and we were already up, Kevin was getting ready for work and I was getting ready for her Dr's appt, I think she may have heard us talking and woke up. But she didn't want to wake up this morning at all!! I am hoping it gets easier having her in her big girl bed. Such a big step for this Mommy!

CASTS and an MRI?!?!?!

Yup, that's right Casts! (We'll get to the MRI thing in a minute) Olivia just had to inherit my funny feet. My feet turned in when I was little and I was put in corrective shoes. When Livvy was born I told the pediatrician about my feet issue and she made a note to check her feet every time we came in. She also said that she hasn't seen children in corrective shoes for a long time. Well, it happend! We went to Mom and Dad's and one of the first thing they noticed was that her feet were turning in. We had never noticed it, it literally happend over night! Her left foot was really turning in and was starting to curve into itself. So fast forward to the Monday after we returned from our vacation at Olivia's 4 month well baby check up. Let me just stop right there and tell your her awesome stats! She is growing so well, she is 14 lbs 5 oz (50%) and 27 and 1/4 inches long (99%, gee who would have thought right?)! She also got her 4 month shots and that was very hard on me, I had to leave the room and Kevin had to be with her.

OK, back to the casts...we asked the Pediatrician about her feet and she was obviously concerned. She gave us a referral to a Pediatric Orthopaedic Surgeon because this was something she has never seen before. I called right after we got home that afternoon and fortunatley they were able to get her in that Wed. The Dr. was so sweet and very concerned as well, he couldn't believe her feet moved that quickly and that her left arch was so tight. He said that normally they can do exercises to help stretch out the muscle and that should help a lot but her left foot was so bad that he could barely move it! Now for the MRI part. He said that even though I had this problem when I was a child, he wants to have her go in for an MRI on her spine to make sure there isn't anything on her spine that could be pulling on the tendon and causing her foot to move so fast. Because an MRI requires absolute stillness she has to be sedated which involves an IV. I was a mess!! Because the hospital was unable to get her in for a week the Dr. wanted to go ahead and cast her feet that day. The casts she has on are on both feet and go all the way up her thighs! She had just started putting her feet in her mouth and now she can't even bend her knees enough to get them to her mouth :( The casts are a special product by 3M just for babies. It is a softer "hard cast" that I can peel off once a week and then she will go back in to have it replaced. This was she doesn't have to deal with the scary cast saw and I can give her a real bath once a week (she gets sponge baths now). The Dr. thinks it will be about 5 weeks of casting and then she can get them off and move to the corrective shoes with a bar between. I am scared to death of the sedation process but if it is necessary we will do it. I am praying that there is nothing on her spine and that it is just a hereditary thing (which the Dr. thinks it is but wants to be sure). I will post how everything goes once we get home and settled on Thursday after her MRI.

Her left foot which is the worst

Right foot, not nearly as bad

Casting her left leg

Finished with the first

Casting her right leg.

Olivia's first trip to Nanny and Gogga's in Missouri

We just returned from our first trip to Missouri. We left on March 14th at 8 am and Olivia did GREAT on the plane! I was so worried she wouldn't be her sweet laid back self but she was exactly that! We lucked out on the flight to Chicago and got a row of 3 seats so we were able to put Olivia in her car seat in the window seat! She didn't really sleep a lot but was very content. Most people said they didn't even know she was on the plane! She was so good! We got her out every once in a while but when it got to bumpy we put her back. She enjoyed being snuggled and looking at all the people (we were right across from the bathroom, we saw LOTS of people) and she got lots of compliments too. When we got to Chicago we had to run to get to the next gate and made it just in time. We weren't able to get an extra seat on that flight but that was OK, it was only a hour long flight and Livvy and I snuggled and napped most of the flight. When we finally got to Missouri after 8 hours of travel we were exhausted and ready to see my parents. They greeted us at the airport along with my best friend Kim and her little family (Livvy's future husband and in-laws LOL!) I was nervous that Livvy wouldn't sleep very well, or that she would be on Alaska time (3 hours behind) but she went right to sleep and woke up the next morning right on time just like she was in Alaska...no problems! The first day we took Livvy to Bass Pro Shops AKA Kevin's favorite place to be in Springfield. She slept the whole time, must not have been as excited as her daddy to go LOL! her hat says "my first fishing hat" too cute!We went to my mom's work and met lots of her co workers and the residents there too, Olivia got LOTS of attention and lots of ohh and ahh's, she was a hit! We did a lot of running around and eating out. On St. Patrick's Day my sister (Olivia's Aunt Sissy) came to visit from Kansas City. We also went to Church that evening for a nice potluck dinner and then a short bible study in which Olivia decided she was tired and wanted to scream the whole time (how embarrassing!) Everyone there was so excited to see Livvy, and us too :) They all thought she looked just like Kevin (so do I). On Thursday, my sister, Mom, Olivia and myself had a girls afternoon and went shopping. I was in desperate need of work clothes for my internship this fall. I still have about 10-15 lbs to lost to be back to pre-baby weight...I WILL DO THIS! So I found some great sales and got lots of good stuff. We were all very tired and more than ready to go home after that. We finally got to enjoy a nice St. Paddy's day dinner of Yummy corned beef and potatoes...I could have eaten my weight in that! So good! On Friday it was a GLORIOUS 75 degress that day, it was the first time Livvy has been able to go outside in a sleeveless dress, no blanket and no socks! It was so awesome! My sister had to leave to head back to KC. We took off to Branson to do somemore shopping. We stopped at the Lee outlet and found LOTS of good deals! We then went down to the Branson Landing we stuck Livvy's feet in the fountain and watched a really funny couple of guys who do percussion using plastic barrels, it was a lot of fun! We ate at Famous Daves a yummy BBQ place (which Olivia slept through). After dinner we decided we needed some fudge from the fudge place. They were making a caramel nut fudge while we were in there and they gave us HUGE samples. We shared a bit with Olivia and she loved it. After we left the landing we were off to our show, we went to see a Beatles tribute band called "Liverpool Legends". It is a group that was put together by George Harrison's sister Louise, so you know it was good! They showed clips and had lots of interviews with Louise. Olivia LOVED the show, as did all of us! The singers sounded and looked just like the Beatles, it was so much fun! During intermission Louise came out and answered questions from the audience. It was really neat! During the show they invited everyone to come out into the aisle to dance. We took Livvy out and all took turns dancing with her and singing to her.

After the show we got to meet the singers and even had Olivia's picture taken with them, Paul even gave her a kiss! On Saturday after our wonderful warm day the day before, the temperature dropped and it started snowing and sleeting...welcome to Missouri! the next morning we headed off to Ash Grove for Olivia's Baptisim. We wanted to do it in the Church we were married in by the Pastor who married us but for some unforseen circumstances we were unable to do it at the church. We were blessed to have been accepted by the congregation who had never met us and yet made us feel so at home! Pastor Bill Havens preformed the service and it was very nice. This is the dress she wore. It is a ver special dress as it was the dress that both my sister and I were baptized in and it was made by my nanny out of my mom's 8th grade graduation dress. When Kevin got her dressed he was telling her how special it was and the story behind it. It melted my heart to see her wear something so special for such a special day. She looked beautiful! The next day after two of it being cold and snowy it warmed up to a wonderful upper 60 degrees again! We thought it was funny seeing my Dad wearing a jacket because it was "a little chilly" and there was a "slight breeze" we thought it felt great compared to the -14 temps the day before we left Alaska. We enjoyed the warm weather! My Uncle Mike and his girlfriend came over for dinner one night and brought Olivias some really cute clothes and also some yummy homemade chocolate cupcake with Irish Cream frosting, it was so yummy! That night Olivia started started grabbing a lot of things. She grabbed a pop can and was bringing it up to her lips, good thing it was empty! We had a great time and as always great company! Thursday afternoon brought an end to our vacation. We were lucky to get an extra seat again on the flight from Springfield to Chicago but our flight was late leaving due to winds in Chicago (it's not called the windy city for nothing!) We were told most of the flights in and out were delayed so we had hope that our flight to Anchorage would be too. Before the delay we were to have a two hour delay. When we arrived in Chicago, Kevin took off running for the next gate to see if it had been delayed too and let me with Olivia to gather all of our belongings and head across the airport to meet him. We ran to our next gate which happend to be all the way at the other end of the airport (why can't things be easier sometimes?). When I got to the gate area Kevin was at the check in counter and low and behold they were boarding!! They told us they didn't have any open rows and we could have to hold Livvy the whole flight on our lap. As we were starting down the gangway the ticketing agent called us back and told us that there was a row with two open seats and if the man next to us wanted to he could move up to that row. He happily agreed once he saw we had a baby :) It turns out that there were actually quite a few open rows on the plane due to people missing their connection. Olivia slept the whole way home and I was worried she wouldn't sleep that night. She did although she tried to wake up at 5 am (8 am Missouri time) I just kept putting her paci in and she slept until about 8:45! After that she was back on her Alaska schedule. We were so glad to be home and thankful that we were able to make the trip to show Olivia off and most of all have her baptized!

Here are a few other pictures from our trip.

Livvy and a big brown bear on one of our many trips to Bass Pro

Mommy and Livvy at Bass Pro

Daddy and Livvy at his favorite resturant Cracker Barrel

Livvy and Miss Rhonda (Kim's Mom) She has brain cancer so it was important they meet!

Livvy and Mommy